As much as our younger imaginations may try to disagree, courage does not come from conquering kingdoms. If men want to experience maturity and grow in real relationships, we must be willing to drop the savior complex. I am an equal participant, just as much in need of the advice I am prone to want to give. It is understanding that even when there is no strength left, what you are is enough and that you are worth loving.įor me, this means I have to be willing to value my wife’s input, to appreciate her emotions, and to realize that I am not the hero of my marriage. True strength is the willingness to associate courage with weakness. However, in a culture that tends to link courage with strength, weakness is seen as something to be eliminated and not embraced.Īs a result, many men are taught that being strong is synonymous with suppressed emotions and non-existent vulnerability. It is not a strange leap then to realize that as these same young boys mature and grow into men, they carry with them an ideology and definition of courage that is rooted in heroism and is driven by reward.Īs such, grown men are primed to adopt a working definition of courage that says, “If I can fix it in my own strength, I will win.”īut that isn’t what true courage means in a real relationship.Īs Theodore Roosevelt said, courage is the onward movement even you have no strength. Growing up, we teach young boys to slay dragons and rescue princesses, building imaginative realms where the act of courage is met with a prize - a trophy, either tangible or perceived. Historically, men have warped the idea of courage and bent it towards accomplishment and valor. “Courage is not having the strength to go on it is going on when you don’t have the strength.” - Theodore Roosevelt More personally, for you and me, our relationships need it. We need more women who celebrate those expressions of true courage. We need more men who know the value of true courage. The greatest danger you could ever encounter is a life devoid of courage, a life that is unwilling or worse, unwanting, to venture into vulnerability and emerge changed for the better. Your sense of self-preservation will try to convince you that courage is dangerous. It withstands the inner critic, the selfish voice who’s alarm tries to alert you that, by acting courageously, you are putting yourself unnecessarily at risk. It is the specific willingness to steel your mind in order to try something difficult, knowing that the outcome is uncertain, and yet still being willing to continue on your journey in hope of a greater tomorrow.Ĭourage is a perseverant vulnerability. Courage does not suffer the character of fools and it is not to be found among those who give little effort and rely on natural or internal tendencies.Ĭourage is purposed pursuit. You may have been married for 40 years and never demonstrated courage.Ĭourage is also not reckless or unintentional. True courage is not connected with the heroic nor is it associated with success. Merriam-Webster defines courage as “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.”īased on this, I see a few key discrepancies to note from the way courage is viewed in our culture. Said another way, we all could benefit from a boost of courage. The allure to fit in and be accepted overpowers our willingness to embrace the messy and, at times, strenuous work of being vulnerable and growing through our weaknesses. We know that, and yet we spend considerable amounts of time and energy cultivating a narrative that says otherwise. There is a great depth of beauty in the moments we recognize our weaknesses and invite others into those elements of our story. “Show me a man who can listen to a woman and not try to fix her problem but rather just listen to her and be there for her, show me a woman who can sit with a man who shares this vulnerability and still love him the way he is, and I’ll show you a man and woman who are courageous and have done their work.” - Brene Brown
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |